In Mars We Trust - IX

Being swamped by exams isn’t exactly the nicest feeling in the world, particularly when having completely lost track of the dates, you’ve forgotten to prepare. Not that I am wont to prepare for exams even when I have not lost track of the dates, but at least this time I have an excuse and in typical fashion, when given an excuse I intend to use it to the utmost. Well, getting back to what I was saying before I digressed into the topic of excuses, it’s not really pleasant when at 4 AM in the middle of a potential lap-record lap on NFS Underground…sorry, I mean, in the middle of…ahem…studying for the 9AM exam, you get thrown off track (No, not literally. I was studying, remember?) by the sudden sound of your phone ringing.

Well, being the gentleman that I am, I took the call and even listened to the invectives hurled at me for an entire five seconds, before I very chivalrously and extremely politely cut the caller off in the middle of a decidedly distasteful description of what my insides would look like once she was through with me…

You see, over the past few months (ever since Mars - I actually), I have often been accused by the women in my circle of acquaintances of having wronged them by misquoting them in my Mars series of posts and if not of misquoting them, then of taking the statements they make completely out of context, adding my own context to it and making the comments sound hilarious and the girls sound stupid. Mind you, I freely admit to doing this. But it does raise this question in my mind – Do these women have a sense of humour? And to thereby logically extend it, do women have a sense of humour at all??

Sample this conversation that I had a couple of days ago with a woman who falls into the above-mentioned category (which in case you have not noticed, now includes all women!).

She: You’re so mean!!! You took what I said, twisted it, took it totally out of context, made it sound like I said all that and made me look so stupid!!!

Me: Err…Ah! That’s true, I guess…but you’ll have to admit, it did sound funny the way I put it, didn’t it?

She: Yeah it did! It was hilarious actually, but it made me look stupid! And then you credited it to some other woman!!!

Me: Oh! Would you rather have had me credit you with that one then?

She: No! But I mean…forget it. You’re so mean! I refuse to speak to you…

Now, this member of the Mahila! Bachao! Morcha quite convinced me that women just do not have a sense of humour when it comes to a joke cracked at their expense or even a joke that’s cracked at the expense of something that is remotely connected to what they have ever said…however long ago that might be.

Now, think of a guy in this scenario instead. I assure you that I know exactly what would pass through his mind and with my extremely limited writing skills, I have tried to encapsulate the entire scenario. Picture if you will, this scenario as enacted in a college canteen and add any side-effects that you like…including posters of Jennifer Anniston (I always do that. I like Jennifer y’know…)

Guy1: And then X walks in and he had snot hanging from his nose!!!
Group of guys around: Hahahahahahahah! Wow! That’s too good man!!! Hahahahaha!!
Guy X (Thinking): OK. Keep smile in place so that they don’t know what I am thinking. Grrrr! I wish I could smash that guy’s face in…no, I wish I could beat him to a pulp. Actually, I wish I could do without ever seeing him or talking to him again...actually, on tenth thought, I wish I could crack a better one at his expense… Hell, I wish I could think up a better one. Susie! Neeta! Help! Damn, can’t even ask for help…ok…keep smile in place till something strikes…

Meanwhile:

Guy1: And guess what, then I bolted the door from the outside while Y was on the commode!!!
Group of guys including Guy X: Hahahahahahahah! Wow! That’s too good man!!! Hahahahaha!!
Guy X (Thinking): Cool! It’s passed… I hope they’ve forgotten that one about me… But I’ll get back some day…

You get the picture? Good! That was the intention. So, by that you’ll realise that guys definitely have a better sense of humour than women! We can take jokes at our expense. As a contrast, I offer you this one… Imagine a woman in this situation and think of how things would turn out…

Guy1: And she told me not to tell anyone, but this is too good. You know, she actually likes X!!!!
Group of guys: Hahahahahaha!!! That alien? She likes him? Oh man!! Hahahahaha!!!

Can you imagine what that woman would do to the guy? Nope, words fail me…the mutilation that I imagine astounds and horrifies me… Suffice to say that our poor Guy1 was probably never quite the same man again. That is, if he was ever a man again…

Let’s face it. We guys may not be the most discreet or the most diplomatic; not even the most subtle come to think of it, but you can’t deny that we have a better sense of humour!!! Can you imagine a guy saying to another guy (or a girl for that matter) that he refuses to have anything to do with him (or her) because he (or she) cracked a joke at his expense? Hmmm… Even if a guy wanted to do that, you can bet your bottom dollar - and even your bottom rupee if you feel like it - that he wouldn’t say so!!! After all, we do have a sense of humour you know…

Well, at this point I think I should reassure all those who are named in my extremely substantial will, that I have now increased my insurance cover. I deemed this the right course of action after being nearly lynched by activists of the Mahila! Bachao! Morcha yesterday. For some reason they didn’t quite seem to see the humour in Mars – VIII. I guess we can put that down as yet another example of how absent a sense of humour is in women apart from the few who happen to appreciate the Mars series.

By the way, the afore-mentioned attack also helped me realise exactly how the name of the association was born. One look at the activists and the first thing that came to my mind was to scream, “Mahila!!! Bachao!!!”