Friday, January 27, 2006

In Mars We Trust - V

To start off, let me just list down a few pearls of wisdom that have flowed from the beautiful and lipstick-coated lips of a few women I happen to know….and then we'll get to the driver joke that people have asked for....

“You know, it was one of those days when everything goes wrong and you know, those are the days when somehow, nothing seems to go right, and then you feel as if, whatever you do, somehow, everything will go wrong and….well….everything goes wrong…” (Oh! Do you think that may have something to do with nothing going right?)

Fresher woman on IIML campus asking a senior guy for certain directions:

She: Can you tell me where the confectionary shop is?
Guy: Huh? Confectionary shop?
She: Yeah. I need to buy a lock!

Like, what was she thinking? Perhaps she felt that if she lost her key, at least she could eat a nice, “sweet” little lock, instead of having to break an ugly metal one…..

Another fresher woman to senior guy whom she knew in college:

“Hi! I’ve been looking for you for the past week! I mean not really looking for you, but you know, since I reached here day before, I was trying to find you. Not exactly searching for you, but I was in a way looking for you.”

If you think you’re floored, imagine that poor chap’s expression!!! He was sitting in the middle of a group of his friends and looked as if he just couldn’t wait for the Earth to split and consume him……

Or how about this one, from a girl headed to the hallowed portals of IIMA:

“I never thought I could make it to IIMA. I was totally confident that I would crack CAT and the interview and GD and all, but I was sure I would never make it to IIMA. I was so surprised when I even got an interview call! And seriously, though I was so confident that I would crack CAT and all, I never thought I would get calls and all….”

No, I shall not divulge names here……and no, I do not have a clue what this woman was trying to convey….somehow though, I get the feeling she may not have known what the word “cracking” means when used in this context……*sigh*

Anyway, as promised, here’s the “driver” joke…..

Now, one fine day, Batman decided to pick up Superman and head out for a nice, long drive in the country……on the way though, the stupid Batmobile broke down and being miles away from home and Alfred, there was just nothing that could be done about it…..because both these chappies had been too busy fighting crime to ever learn about repairing cars and mundane things like that…..

Well, along came this couple, a really intelligent man and a really intelligent woman….and they offered these two a lift. Having no real option, the offer was accepted at once and the happy foursome headed on into the open country roads.

A mile down the road, the car had an accident and three of the passengers died……guess who the only survivor was!

Yep, as you may have guessed, this is a feminist joke thus far…..it was the intelligent woman as the rest are fictitious characters….

Women stop reading here!!!!!

Now guys, between ourselves, we all know that we needed to give them some false solace and that’s the only reason why we told them that one….we all know the real truth!!!! And Hell, let’s face it! It had to be the stupid woman that was driving…..that’s the only way they could have had an accident on an open country road!!!!!

Women: If you’re reading this, you’ve just proved the point. You don’t LISTEN!!!!!

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